The End of a Good Year

As midnight quickly draws near, I have been reflective of the year that is about to slip away. I guess some would say being diagnosed with cancer would make for a bad year. I really don't feel that way. We continue to be blessed year after year. We have a beautiful home, overstocked pantry, money in the bank, Ed has a wonderful job and even though I have cancer, we have our health. By American standards we are by no means well off, but to 90% of the rest of the world we are wealthy beyond imagination. How fortunate are we to live in such a wonderful country? So many people have so much less...how can we not think this has been a good year? And how blessed are we to need to make the New Year's resolution to lose those holidays pounds? Yes blessed because we have such an abundance of food that we have weight to lose. As we sit and eat chips and dip and "ring in the new year" is makes me sad to think of those all around the world that would be happy to have just one chip much less dip. It just doesn't seem fair. Well before I get myself in to somber of a mood, I just want to say Happy New Year and may God bless you abundantly in the new year!

Insomnia and Mouth Sores

Well, it is now 3:30 AM...that's right...A.M. I am experiencing my first episode of insomnia due to chemo. I've read that this is sometimes an issue with cancer patients. For all of you out there that have insomnia regularly, my sympathies are with you. I know I should be tired due to my counts being low and our day at the zoo, but I am wide awake. I feel like it is 3 in the afternoon. I've watched a movie already and read a little bit, but sleep is no where to be found. I am hoping this isn't a regular event now. I guess I could take a nausea pill since they make me sleep like a rock, but now it seems pointless since Emma will be up in just a few hours. I will hopefully catch a nap later on today.

The other side effect that is finally rearing it's ugly head is mouth sores. I don't know if you've ever had an ulcer in your mouth, but these are 10 times worse. My tongue has 3 ulcerated spots on it and I have 2 on the inside of my lower lip. My chemo pharmacist mixed me up a little something to help ease the pain, but it only lasts about 15 minutes and I can only take it every 4 hours. It is Mylanta, lidocaine, and some sort of antibiotic. Basically if I am having mouth sores that means my entire intestinal track is suffering as well. The Mylanta drink helps the mouth but also helps the ulcerated spots I may have elsewhere in my system. Needless to say, I am pretty uncomfortable. Eating hurts, talking hurts, and I think it's getting worse not better. My taste buds are shot except for bold flavors such as dill pickles, Doritos and oh, my icky Mylanta drink. The one thing on a planet I wish I couldn't taste is the most prominent. I think I will be shifting to ice cream for the next few days as the cold seems to help if only temporarily. So other than that...I'm doing just peachy. So what's going on in your neck of the woods?

Yes, I'm still among the living

I am giving my apologies to my faithful readers for not updating sooner. I had lab work done on Friday before Christmas and was cleared for travel so off we went. It was such a short trip though and I never get all of the visits made to my loved ones before we leave town again. By the time we made it home Sunday I knew my blood count was down for the count. I was running a fever (which happened the last round as well). The doctor's office was closed Monday, so I had labs yesterday. My white count was .7, down from 24 on Friday. Apparently this chemo is kicking butts and taking names! I of course received my stomach shots and set up an appointment to come in today for more lab work. Yesterday was a bad cancer day. I just had a hard time coping with all the needles, feeling miserable and just not being able to live my life like I used to. Thankfully those days have been far and few between at this point. On a happier note, our friends from Iowa (Russ and Holly) arrived last night with their two little boys in tow. It was so nice to see them again. It's been a year and the kids have changed so much. Emma is having a field day!

Today I went in for labs and they accessed my port to draw blood. I've been letting them draw from my arms (yuck, but it's not a time consuming), but my veins are already going bad from the chemo and they are having to dig around to get a good one (part of my bad cancer day yesterday). Anyway, they accessed my port today and left it accessed so they don't have to poke me again tomorrow. They don't normally like to leave you accessed overnight when your count is low, but I think the poor nurses took pity on me after yesterday and made an exception. My count was up today to 1.1 so I took two more shots to the belly and went about my business.

We took the kids to the zoo today which was so much fun. I rested a lot along the way, but am feeling well. It was nice to enjoy the sun on my face and have a little piece of "normal" for a change. I know Ed worried about me all day, but I'm okay sweetheart, really. He is such a blessing to me.

I go back for more labs tomorrow, but hopefully my numbers will be up and I can be free until Monday labs. Russ and Holly are leaving on Friday so we will have a quiet weekend around the house. Next week should be my "good week" so I will spend it taking down Christmas stuff and deep cleaning. The dust bunnies are getting mean around these parts. It may be touch and go as to who comes out victorious in the end!

Good night and may God bless you!

Feeling Green

Yesterday was the worst day so far. I woke up completely nauseous! Everything I smelled, looked at and even thought about eating made me feel so sick. I called the doctor's office and told them I'd be in at 1:00 to disconnect from my chemo bag, and they told me to come on in. They gave me another IV bag of Anzemet for nausea which helped immediately. Then they sent me home with a prescription for Promethazine. I take it every 4-6 hours as needed for nausea. It has worked wonders BUT it makes me sleep like the dead. I slept from 4pm to 7pm last night, woke up for 45 minutes and then went back to bed until 8 this morning. Needless to say I feel well rested! I woke up this morning feeling much better. I took the nausea medication to be safe, but so far I'm feeling human again. I'm going to take advantage of it and finish some last minute shopping today as well as pack for our trip home tomorrow. I hope you all have a blessed day!

Round 2 Complete

I just finished my second round of chemo. Well, actually I'm not finished. I still have this bag of red toxic liquid I have to carry around for the next 24 hours. I will come back to the hospital tomorrow to "disconnect". I slept through most of my treatment today. I brought a magazine and my new portable DVD player (thanks Santa Eddie), but sleep prevailed. I am already feeling a bit queasy which isn't promising for the days ahead. I have my nausea medication ready to take this evening when my current one wears off.

Dr. Q examined me today after chemo. He said that my breast feels normal. If he didn't know I had cancer he wouldn't be able to tell by touch. Yippee! Well, he didn't say yippee...I added that part. He said we will finish up this treatment and then run some tests to see exactly how much of the tumor is left. If it is still bigger than he wants we will do one more round of chemo before surgery. If it is basically gone then we will talk surgery sooner. Obviously this is great news to hear today!

Grandma and Pa are here for the week. They are keeping Emma occupied while I recover from this treatment. Emma is loving every minute of it--all the attention is on her which is just the way she likes it! We are still planning on making the trip home for Christmas this weekend. I am looking forward to seeing everyone and enjoying some Christmas cheer! Hopefully the worst of the side effects will be gone by then. I'll post more when I can.