Cancer: The Ultimate Thief

I know it's been a while since I've posted, but honestly I've been avoiding it. I have been enjoying a life without cancer and that includes talking about it. I do have some news to report though, so a post is in order.

We went to Dr. Q on Wednesday this week to discuss "maintenance". He said I won't have a scan until later in the year. He is confident that my strong regimen of chemotherapy killed any lurking cancer cells. He did however inform us that the chemo-induced menopause I have been experiencing will most likely be permanent. This was upsetting to say the least. Whether you want more children or not suddenly becomes an issue when you are told you won't be able to have anymore. I have a little bit of hope because I have read other cancer stories where cycles returned to normal, but it just took some time. If this wasn't bad enough, he also recommends that I start taking Tamoxifen. It is a drug that will help reduce my chances of recurrence. I will have to take it for 5 years. I will then be on an aromatase-inhibitor indefinitely. I suspected this would be the plan, but hearing him say it upset me. I don't want to take medicine for the rest of my life. I don't want to be an old woman with hot flashes trapped in the body of a 32 year old. I don't want my ability to bear children to be stolen from me. I've lost my hair and my breasts and now the one thing feminine that I have left is stolen from me too. It is so unfair. I'd rather be bald forever than be in menopause now.

We are still working on a date for my final reconstruction surgery. It looks like it will be toward the end of June. I'm not even excited...just ready. I'm ready to be in a place to not think about cancer for a long time.

Praise the Lord!

It's over! I'm done! I get my life back!

Yesterday I went for my final scheduled bloodwork. All my counts are good and theoretically should continue to improve. I have an appointment with Dr. Q in three weeks to discuss maintenance and a scan of some sort, but that is it. I meet with Dr. C next week to discuss finalizing my reconstruction. I am hoping to schedule it for the end of June. I'm ready to get these expanders out. The are hard as rocks making sleeping difficult. It will be nice to get the implants in and finish this process completely.

I have to go start packing. We are going camping this weekend. Step 1 of the "we have our life back" plan!